Passion Play

I haven't seen "The Passion of the Christ," and I don't plan to, but I have a few questions for folks who have seen the film:

-- Where's the official film novelization?
-- Is it true that the book is better than the movie?
-- Why did you bother to go, since you already know the ending? (The same question also applies to anyone that plunked down good money to see "Titanic.")
-- Do Matthew, Mark, Luke et al get screenwriting credits?
-- Will there be a sequel?
-- What's the best thing to buy from the snack bar when you're watching a film about the torture and death of a major religious figure? Milk Duds?
-- If an all-gay cast remakes the film, would it be called "The Passion Fruit"?

If anyone needs me, I'll be watching "Fiddler on the Roof."