A Super Bowl Mammary

It seems the entire nation is abuzz about Janet Jackson's bare-breasted Super Bowl performance yesterday, but I don't see what all the fuss is about. Here are some halftime show questions that are more worthy of our attention:

FIRST, why did Kid Rock feel it necessary to rip a hole in an American flag and wear it like a poncho? I, for one, don't think people should be told what they can and can't do with the flag -- but a poncho? What the fuck?

SECOND, why do P. Diddy and Nelly keep singing the same songs at these events? Have they not written any new music in the past two years -- or, in P. Diddy's case, appropriated other people's music?

THIRD, why must Nelly grab his crotch all the time? Does he have a rash?

FOURTH, why did the show feature so much music with sexual overtones? I'm no prude, but I don't believe the Super Bowl halftime show is the appropriate venue for songs with lyrics such as, "It's getting hot in here / so take off all your clothes" and "I'm gonna have you naked by the end of this song." With songs like these, can we really be surprised that the halftime performance culminated in a peep show?

I'm sure we haven't heard the last of the Boob Seen 'Round The World -- which, of course, is George W. Bush. We also haven't heard the last of Janet Jackson's titillating halftime performance.

I predict that next year's halftime show will be a deliberately wholesome and corn-fed affair. What a shame. I'd take Jackson's tit over Up With People any day.